| Dev Badri Shaligram 18.10.2025 |


Dev Badri Shaligram*

The evening after the Krishna Katha, I was sitting there again. That day, during the Katha, all the devotees were playing Holi with flowers — the atmosphere was truly divine. I sat quietly, soaking in the bliss of the bhajans. It felt as if the Lord Himself was there, joyfully playing Holi among us.

But within me, a silent battle was going on. Every time I closed my eyes, the divine face of God appeared before me — and instantly I would open them again, wondering, “Why do You keep appearing in my eyes again and again?”
The feeling was just like that of a child upset with his mother, while the mother lovingly keeps trying to comfort him.

After the bhajans ended, we had to go to Haridwar to meet a Guruji — the Mahamandaleshwar of the Juna Akhara. That evening, we reached his ashram, but since Guruji was returning from Delhi, we had to wait a long time for him. When he arrived, he asked us to come inside his ashram, but before that, he sent us off for tea.

After waiting another hour, his disciples finally called us in. They seated us on chairs inside what looked like a palace of an ashram. Guruji came and took his place on his grand throne. He opened the gift I had brought for him, showed it to everyone, and said, “This is the kind of gift one should bring.”

Hearing this, I felt deeply uncomfortable. I could clearly see pride in Guruji’s demeanor. He asked me two questions, and I replied briefly. But my heart felt shattered. It didn’t feel like I had met a spiritual master — it felt more like sitting before a political leader.

That was my personal experience, and my heart was completely broken. All of us felt dejected because we had never experienced a Guru like that before.
A Guru is like a mother — full of love and compassion. A Guru’s door is a place where no one looks at you with disdain. It is the only door where you truly feel peace and bliss within yourself.

My head felt heavy, and I had this overwhelming urge to cry out loud.
But this too was part of God’s divine play…Dev Badri Shaligram*

The evening after the Krishna Katha, I was sitting there again. That day, during the Katha, all the devotees were playing Holi with flowers — the atmosphere was truly divine. I sat quietly, soaking in the bliss of the bhajans. It felt as if the Lord Himself was there, joyfully playing Holi among us.

But within me, a silent battle was going on. Every time I closed my eyes, the divine face of God appeared before me — and instantly I would open them again, wondering, “Why do You keep appearing in my eyes again and again?”
The feeling was just like that of a child upset with his mother, while the mother lovingly keeps trying to comfort him.

After the bhajans ended, we had to go to Haridwar to meet a Guruji — the Mahamandaleshwar of the Juna Akhara. That evening, we reached his ashram, but since Guruji was returning from Delhi, we had to wait a long time for him. When he arrived, he asked us to come inside his ashram, but before that, he sent us off for tea.

After waiting another hour, his disciples finally called us in. They seated us on chairs inside what looked like a palace of an ashram. Guruji came and took his place on his grand throne. He opened the gift I had brought for him, showed it to everyone, and said, “This is the kind of gift one should bring.”

Hearing this, I felt deeply uncomfortable. I could clearly see pride in Guruji’s demeanor. He asked me two questions, and I replied briefly. But my heart felt shattered. It didn’t feel like I had met a spiritual master — it felt more like sitting before a political leader.

That was my personal experience, and my heart was completely broken. All of us felt dejected because we had never experienced a Guru like that before.
A Guru is like a mother — full of love and compassion. A Guru’s door is a place where no one looks at you with disdain. It is the only door where you truly feel peace and bliss within yourself.

My head felt heavy, and I had this overwhelming urge to cry out loud.
But this too was part of God’s divine play…