*“Ashram”*
Taking money out from his book and placing it in my hand, he said,
“Keep this money. I want to come to you. Will you take me with you from here?”
These words were not spoken for himself—Hanumanji Himself was speaking!
He said, “I came into your dream, didn’t I?”
Those were the exact words I had heard in a dream years ago.
Back then He had asked, “Where do you want to take me?”
And then He had placed His divine feet on the land of the Ashram for the very first time.
Hearing His words, it felt as if my breath stopped.
Hanumanji Himself wanted to remind me.
Tears filled my eyes in that moment.
He said,
“When this idol was made and placed here in the temple, they took good care of me.
They gave me food on time.
But now a lot of money has come here!
Politics has started.
Big people have come.
Now no one even asks about me.
They don’t give me food on time.
Take me with you from here.
Just feed me twice a day.
Serve me.
And keep this money.
I know you are thinking about making an idol.
Yes, yes—make it.
I will come in that very form.
These money are for that.
Keep ₹700 with you.
I will come in that form.
I will stay there.
Just feed me on time.
I also feel hungry!
You just begin.
I will arrange everything.
Everything will happen on its own.”
He was right—I had nothing.
We didn’t even have land for the Ashram yet.
He knew everything about the idol.
These were the words of God Himself—
as if He was listening to every thought inside my heart.
While speaking, He suddenly began to cry.
He said,
“What can I give you?
Why did you take so long to come here?”
Tears flowed from my eyes too.
He wanted something from me…
but I had nothing to offer.
God was speaking—
“I will come to you!”
Seeing tears in His eyes made me cry even more.
He hugged me tightly, pointed upwards and said,
“Now I will wait there.
We will meet there.
I will wait for you!”
These were words beyond this lifetime.
His eyes had become deep, as if He wanted me to remember something.
There was pain, and divine compassion in those eyes.
Holding my hand, He took me out of the temple.
Everything that we had spoken in the car, He started speaking again.
We walked a little further.
He said once again,
“I don’t know what to give you.”
I said,
“You have already given everything.
What can I give you?”
In that moment, even I didn’t know.
Then my attention went to the ring on my finger.
In an instant, I removed the ring and gave it to Him.
He said,
“What use is this to me?
I don’t need it.”
That moment I understood why, again and again, I felt like taking off that ring and placing it at the Mother’s feet.
I told Him,
“Please accept it as my love.
Keep it with you always.”
With a sad expression, He looked at the ring and said,
“Alright, I will keep it.”
He put it in His pocket.
Then He looked at me and said,
“Look, all of you have come wearing warm clothes.
But I am only wearing a thin shirt and a dhoti.
I don’t wear anything on my feet.
I wake up early and bathe in cold water.
I don’t feel cold—because I have a power.
I want to show you. Want to see?”
We were shocked.
What was He going to show?
He lifted His shirt—
and we saw the tail of Hanumanji coiled around His stomach,
covered in brown divine hair,
wrapped in a circle.
Our eyes froze.
We could not understand where it began and where it ended.
It was a moment of divine realization.
In that one moment, our whole bodies trembled.
Instantly, He lowered His shirt and covered it.
We had no words.
I touched His feet and said,
“You have given us everything.”
In that moment, He was no one else—
He was Hanumanji Himself.
After showing us this divine form,
He signaled us to leave.
And said to me,
“I will surely come to you!”
Our hearts could not speak.
There was joy, and complete astonishment.
Who was He?
What was this?
But then the mind said—
Who else could it be?
What more proof was needed?
Our lives were blessed by His darshan.
Writing this feels simple.
Reading it may feel simple.
But what happened cannot be expressed in words.
The prasad He gave, and the ₹700—
I still have them with me.
Every time I open the cupboard,
I remember the promise He gave me—
the words:
“I have to come to you.”
That responsibility still rests on my shoulders.
In my dream, I saw Him on a hill,
so my heart keeps saying His idol should be built on a hill.
But the hill belongs to the government.
I went to many places,
even reached government offices,
hoping to get a small piece of land on that hill.
But no one listens.
I have told many people this divine message.
Even today, Hanumanji waits for that devotee
who will come forward
and complete this divine work.
Because He has surely decided i
But to do such a work, there must be a feeling of sacrifice.
A human being is never satisfied even in his own palace.
Our entire life can pass in a single room of our house,
yet we want twenty rooms!
Everyone actually lives in just one room,
but the other nineteen rooms are where our ego lives.
Then I thought,
“There is a piece of land next to the Ashram.
The idol can be built there.”
But at that moment, due to lack of proper resources,
that land slipped out of my hands.
I cried a lot.
A lot.
I stayed silent, accepting it as God’s will.
Even today, tears come to my eyes when I remember that moment
when He said to me,
“Give me food twice a day.”
Right now, as I write this,
my tears are still falling,
and I am asking for forgiveness
that even to this day I have not been able to fulfill this responsibility.
Because now I have stopped speaking.
Till today, no one has come forward to bring Hanumanji.
No one supported me.
If this were only my desire,
perhaps no one other than me would even know about it.
But this was the promise of Hanumanji Himself—
“You take Me. Where do you want to take Me?”
Whom do I tell this truth of my heart, my Lord?
I can tell someone,
but I cannot make anyone feel what I feel.
All I have are tears and waiting.
Someone will surely come for Him—
this is the only prayer that leaves my heart every single day.
We are so fortunate—
God Himself said, “Take Me.”
But this is our misfortune too,
that in our own happiness and sorrow
we could not think beyond ourselves.
Just as we are waiting for Him,
He too must be waiting for us.
Till today we have only asked from God.
But when He Himself asked from us,
we only stood and watched.
His words—“Give me food twice a day”—
I will never forget them.
We feed our God in silver plates
with grand dishes,
yet He was not satisfied with those offerings.
He was waiting for devotion and surrender.
Even today I am waiting,
that someone will surely come for Him,
someone who will sacrifice everything
and bring Hanumanji.
Someone who will stand with me.
And who knows—
perhaps that day
He Himself will come to eat,
the day He sits there in His form.
Our lives will be blessed
the day God Himself speaks
and we are finally able to give Him something—
because until now,
perhaps we have only been giving Him things
He never asked for.
…………………To be continued.